Health Diaries > The Body Dysmorphic Disorder Blog
January 24, 2007
The Body Dysmorphic Disorder Blog
Welcome to The Body Dysmorphic Disorder Blog, a community blog open to which anyone with an interest in BDD can contribute. Post personal stories, links to interesting body dysmorphic disorder websites and blogs, news stories, commentary, or just your thoughts for the day. Post as often as you like. No registration required! Visit the submit page to submit content.
DIGG | del.icio.us | furl
I suffer from BDD it is a very serious mental disorder Much like other disorders it gets progressively worse over time if untreated. For me it started with anorexia in 8th grade followed by a disgust of mirrors. In highschool I started wearing makeup as a guy(yes im gay)but thats not the point, most gay man do not were makeup. I would spend hours at the gym. When I came out of the closet things got much worse and wanting to be an actor I began to fix some of these percieved flaws. First there was plastic surgery on a scar on my leg, then rhinoplasty a 7,500 dollar nose job that I charged on my Nordstrom card. Then followed laser hair removal of hair on my chest. After having lived in LALA LANd for some time I decided to move back east where I began to fixate on my scar again. All these years I had been hiding it from everyone or as many people as I could. I came up with an idea to get a tattoo over it which i did. I hate the tattoo too and not only that I caused nerve damage which makes my whole situation worse. I now have pain In my leg that I never I had before. I share my story because BDD is serious and can cause a lifetime of misery if not treated. Anti-anxiety medications might work well for some people. I would recomend clonopin or perhaps Xanax. If depression is an issue than then an additional medication or antidepressant made be prescribed as well. Some things that help me is whatever you hangup with you body is that someone else allways has it worse. I do however realize that it is impossible for another human being to know exactly how you are feeling.
hey ppl,
i find ur stories rely interesting and i recently had to do an assignment at school on mental illnesses when i came across BDD and b4 i found it i new i ddint have a eating disorder bt thort i had a problem, now i found out about BDD and i think i may have it, bt if i tell ppl they'll think im jus stupid, how do i no if i have it?
thanks xoxo
hey everyone! I am currently studying BDD. I know someone who had BDD so I know about it from that point of veiw as well. My advice for you is to seek out therapy. It will help you live a more happier life. If I have learned anything from stuying things in pyschology its the fact that seeking help is the first and best step to take to feel better, and not to be ashamed to see a therapist. My friend saw one and said that it helped her so much. She is much better now than she has ever been in a really long time. I saw a guidance counselor during a difficult time in my life so I know how talking to someone about your promblems helps situations.
Hello, my name is Sarah and I am currently working on a story about BDD, specifically people who have BDD and turn to cosmetic surgery in order to "fix" their perceived flaws. I have done a lot of background research on the illness and I am really looking for someone to talk to you who has personally struggled with BDD. Blair, for instance, I find your story to be very interesting. If you, or anyone else, would like to speak with me about their story, I would be interested and very appreciative. You can either post to this blog with your contact information, or feel free to contact me via email at smkesten@gmail.com
Thank you and I appreciate your help.
I am 28 years old and I have been struggling with BDD for 10 years. Because of my inability to be open about it, it has gone un-diagnosed, or mis-diagnosed. At present I am seeking a specialist in my area, in hopes that I can receive appropriate diagnosis and treatment. BDD has taken my life away from me. I quit trying to go to college after many failed attempts, I'm unable to be employed, and I am primarily house-bound. Even going to the grocery store is a horrifying, anxiety-provoking thing for me. It is true that it gets worse over time, and also that people (family, friends) don't understand it, because they evidently see something different than I do. To me, BDD is the most painful thing in the world. It is good to read the postings here, to know that I am not alone. I hope we all are able to get help and overcome this.
Hello, my name is Caroline and my publication is currently working on an indepth feature about BDD. We are particularly looking at how people with BDD turn to plastic surgery.
We know this is a very sensitive issue, so we are looking for a very honest first person testimony, written in your own words.
The feature is for a glossy woman's magazine in the UK.
If there is someone who would be prepared to share their experiences with us, please feel free to email carolinegoodhart@yahoo.com.
Many thanks, in advance.
Caroline
Hello, I have bdd. I'm 18 and I do not get help. Sometimes I feel really sexy, especially when I drink and am at parties. Otherwise, I feel like i look like a deformity. Its weird, because I know I'm not ugly but sometimes I just can't help it. I feel disgusting in my own skin, and try to block it out but i just want to go home and hide in my room. It started when I was ten, with my hair.... then my teeth were a big problem in middle school (family knew it was bothering me but my mom said she doesn't feel like paying 5000 for some braces and insurance didnt cover them)... then in 7th grade I felt extrememly fat when I was probably average and began to starve myself. I started highschool at 90 pounds, cut off all my hair and died it. I tried to look like anyone but me. Then I would just criticize people for being ugly and stuff when it was really me trying to run away from myself and divert the attention off of me. I realized I hated who I made myself and wanted to go back to the old me. so I started drinking and drinking. It became a daily thing. I became really mean and lost a lot of my friends, one who I think also has bdd... I acted like a fool way too many times and started being a slut just to get attention because I felt so left out and unwanted. Later I still felt ugly but also felt like I gave myself this reputation that was never me. and Let everyone think that I was someone else.. People around here speak so negatively about me now, and these days not only do I hate my physical appearance, but I hate the entire person i am. I try to hide from it, and someimtes i feel like I've overcome it, only to wake up and see a monster in the mirror and start all over again. I try to heal because I've already tried running... but whenever I'm okay I find a way to sink right back to the bottom. I tried to tell my mom that I wanted to see a psychiatrist and she told me they don't work (shes bipolar and went before and is now on an anti-therapy rage). I told my grandmother and she told me I just need to calm down. I have no fucking clue what to do. So what do i do? I drink. One dayI'll be in AA and therapy. Fun, right? Alcohol is the only thing that can make me feel happy. I can't even look at my best friends sometimes and I think they see the progressions of something.... Who can't look into the face of their best friend? ugh. Its all a secret fear of unnacceptance, I tell you. And with all the things I have done to myself (you have no idea, even though ive told you) everyone knows im fucking nuts and doesn't want to date me or anything. have great lives.
I think I have BDD, but I am not sure if it is nearly as extreme as some of the other cases described above. I have an obsession with personal fitness and my body weight. Every time I eat anything or think of eating something...I am overcome with the extreme fear of gaining weight. However, I am NOT anorexic.. I still eat. But I go through stages where I am constantly weighing myself, measuring out my food before I eat it, reading nutrition labels, memorizing the amount of calories in different products. I will take hour or more to find something I think looks ok on me. I hate taking showers because getting naked makes me feel very very fat and I see myself in the mirror. I get moody and snap at people. If I don't work out I am miserable. I constantly touch my hips and stomach area to monitor the fat hanging around the area. Almost every time I look in the mirror, I lift up my shirt to see how fat I look that moment. I have a very low self confidence, I do not like to be around people. I blush constantly. Sometimes I do feel that this is all getting better for me. That I am working through it on my own, but than I go back to obsessing and not wanting to leave my room. (I normally do end up pushing past this desire and leaving, that is why I think I am different than more severe levels of BDD) There are a few things that I tend to try and do when I have these break downs. I am a christian, so I will often pray to God and ask him to remind me that I should be thankful for the body he gave me. He loves me despite my appearance and His opinion is the only one that matters. The other thing I do is remind myself that I am really not THAT important in the grand scheme of things. Because I realize that BDD is an issue for myself, I try to tell myself that my flaws are only things that I can notice. That I am not important enough for people to really sit and contemplate how big or small my waistline is or is not. As a christian, I try to practice being humble. Thus, when my thoughts start to revolve around how I am appearing.. I shut it down and say not to be so vain.
It doesn't always work. Which is why I am writing this. I am really sorry if anyone thinks that my BDD is a joke compared to others.. I realize that my actions I take aren't nearly as extreme. I do know though, that it CONSUMES my thoughts. It is the main thing that I am thinking about every moment of every day. I am with you on this inescapable feeling.
hi, my names lauren, 18 years of age and i believ i may hav bdd.
it started when i was around the age of nine or ten, i started to focus in on my nose as it was not what i preceved as ''normal''. i started to become paranoid about it and when my broher inocently mentioned it was larger then normal,,,, well thats where the real problms began, i went upstairs into the bathroom and stared into the mirror tears began to stream from my face as i began to scratch away at my skin, makin myself bleed in places, the cats would be my later excuse, i was'nt crying from the pain tho, i was crying in utter disgust! why me i would think. why cant i just look like everyone else why cant i be pretty!?
when i was 13 my obsesion became worse, now it wasnt only my nose but my eyes to! i began to get bullied at school and of course the bullies focal point was my nose! i had spoken about nose jobs with my dad b4 however he never knew exactly how severly it effected me!
as i got older the obsesion got worse and worse, its at the stage now where i cant walk past a mirror without wanting to cry! most nights i fall asleep crying, wishing i looked diffrent.
i cant seem to keep a relationship going either, as my boyfriends are actuly goodlookin! i cant ever understand what their doing with me and i inevitably push them away! im not unpopular, i can socializ with ppl rather well! the only thing is it feels like an alter ego. i remember being in school and not wanting to leave the biology room 1st as the projector was besid th door and the thought of my face being projected onto the board made me physicaly ill! i cant have people look at me from the side either,if they turn to talk to me i turn and face them straight away so their not looking at my nose! i use my hair to hide it too!
i told one of my closest friends once about how i felt,, lets just say never again, i was in tears as i told her and yeh she faked sympathy! however after her and her boyfreind broke up he told me how they would both mock me behind my back! he told me this as an attempt to get back at her! ruin our friendship, one he had been envius of! its safe to say its over now!
i used to draw out the shape of my nose on a page and then resculpt it and just imagen how much better i'd look, how i might be pretty then!
i no im rambling on a bit and the spellings are all over the place, its just, since i told my friend about how i felt, i havnt yet told anyone else my mother thinks that i just have low self asteem as i have never metiond the posability of bdd, i dont think she no's wat it is either! my mothers an amazng person but she just dusnt no how to handle how im feelin, ive burst into tears about my aperenc in front of her several times! but shes my mother so she just thinks im beautiful and cant see what i see! well thats enough self pity i think! if anyone feels the same as i do feel free to email me!
once again my appologise for the spelling!
i just want someone to talk to! let me no im not the only one!
Luaren, I want you to know that you are not the only one who is going through this, and my mother says and thinks the same things as yours. I garauntee that she has never thought about bdd as a culprit, and she is also way too close to the issue, so there is really no way for her to step back and see you from a third party perspective. I often feel helpless and alone when I get a bdd attack. I talk to my fiance' about it, and he is great and tries to understand, however, I know he doesn't completely understand.
Do not feel as though you are alone. I have been studying BDD since I figured out I had it about 5 years ago and have found that there are a lot of men and women that suffer from this and feel alone as well.
One thing that I learned is that no matter how much we feel that we are being judged for our imagined flaws, we are not. People are so concerned with themselves and how they are being perceived that they aren't even paying attention to us.
Just remember you are not alone.
I have just realised that I have BDD, and that my whole life was dominated by it. I was completely delusional about my ugliness (in that I thought I was a lot uglier than I actually am). I have started a blog to record how I am changing my life- here http://lifechangingrealisation.blogspot.com/
Just want to say your article is awesome. The clearness in your post is simply striking and i can take for granted you are an expert on this subject. Well with your permission allow me to grab your rss feed to keep up to date with future post. Thanks a million and please keep up the strong work.
wow, great, I was wondering
well I have BDD and SAD and I feel on a everyday bases that I will go nuts one day. I see a shrink once a week It helps but as soon when the next day hits I'm back to feeling like crap again.They said there going to put me on meds soon becuase just by going to see the shrink I get real bad anxiety.Does meds really work?
Good thing, your webpage formats fine on my new iPhone, didnt load correctly on my outdated peice of junk. goji berries
Comfortabl y, the post is really the best topic on curing acne naturally. I agree with your conclusions and will eagerly look forward to your next updates. Saying thanks will not just be sufficient, for the wonderful lucidity in your writing. I will immediately grab your rss feed to stay abreast of any updates.
hey, your post
You prepared an excellent position with what you mentioned. Folks should read your post to allow them to have a much better point of view on this matter. It was great of you to present great facts and encouraging reasons. After reading this, I know my thoughts are pretty certain about the matter. Keep up the great work!
Extremely good entry, really informative information. Never ever believed I'd discover the tips I need in this article. I've been hunting all over the internet for some time now and had been starting to get disappointed. Fortunately, I came across your page and received precisely what I was browsing for.
Hi. My name is Tiffani.. I really think my mother has severe BDD and I don't know what to do. She has been so lifeless and unsociable to the extreme since I have existed for 20 years. She hasnt dated in 10 years and hasnt had a friend since I've be born which was 20 years ago. She was diagnosed with severe depression and threatened suicide about 5 times cops had to come and take her to the hospital. She had gotten some kind of illness on her face that went away. But now even though its gone she keeps saying she has something new wrong with her face every week. She puts weird creams on it and picks at it 24 hours a day. She hasnt gone in public for months except once or twice.. shes worn sunglasses in buildings when it is night outside and sits in front of a mirror digging at her face for hours till its nasty looking. She has said worms were coming out of her face and we she went to the hospital... she thought they were coming out of her toes and was making her toes bleed picking at them... now she thinks she has jock itch on her face and is putting the cream on her face. I don't know what to do... It is so upsetting seeing my mom like this and she wont seek help. I don't think they have diagnosed her properly and I think she has more than one illness.. I just don't know what to do.
Hi. My name is Tiffani.. I really think my mother has severe BDD and I don't know what to do. She has been so lifeless and unsociable to the extreme since I have existed for 20 years. She hasnt dated in 10 years and hasnt had a friend since I've be born which was 20 years ago. She was diagnosed with severe depression and threatened suicide about 5 times cops had to come and take her to the hospital. She had gotten some kind of illness on her face that went away. But now even though its gone she keeps saying she has something new wrong with her face every week. She puts weird creams on it and picks at it 24 hours a day. She hasnt gone in public for months except once or twice.. shes worn sunglasses in buildings when it is night outside and sits in front of a mirror digging at her face for hours till its nasty looking. She has said worms were coming out of her face and we she went to the hospital... she thought they were coming out of her toes and was making her toes bleed picking at them... now she thinks she has jock itch on her face and is putting the cream on her face. I don't know what to do... It is so upsetting seeing my mom like this and she wont seek help. I don't think they have diagnosed her properly and I think she has more than one illness.. I just don't know what to do.
Hi. My name is Tiffani.. I really think my mother has severe BDD and I don't know what to do. She has been so lifeless and unsociable to the extreme since I have existed for 20 years. She hasnt dated in 10 years and hasnt had a friend since I've be born which was 20 years ago. She was diagnosed with severe depression and threatened suicide about 5 times cops had to come and take her to the hospital. She had gotten some kind of illness on her face that went away. But now even though its gone she keeps saying she has something new wrong with her face every week. She puts weird creams on it and picks at it 24 hours a day. She hasnt gone in public for months except once or twice.. shes worn sunglasses in buildings when it is night outside and sits in front of a mirror digging at her face for hours till its nasty looking. She has said worms were coming out of her face and we she went to the hospital... she thought they were coming out of her toes and was making her toes bleed picking at them... now she thinks she has jock itch on her face and is putting the cream on her face. I don't know what to do... It is so upsetting seeing my mom like this and she wont seek help. I don't think they have diagnosed her properly and I think she has more than one illness.. I just don't know what to do.
Hi. My name is Tiffani.. I really think my mother has severe BDD and I don't know what to do. She has been so lifeless and unsociable to the extreme since I have existed for 20 years. She hasnt dated in 10 years and hasnt had a friend since I've be born which was 20 years ago. She was diagnosed with severe depression and threatened suicide about 5 times cops had to come and take her to the hospital. She had gotten some kind of illness on her face that went away. But now even though its gone she keeps saying she has something new wrong with her face every week. She puts weird creams on it and picks at it 24 hours a day. She hasnt gone in public for months except once or twice.. shes worn sunglasses in buildings when it is night outside and sits in front of a mirror digging at her face for hours till its nasty looking. She has said worms were coming out of her face and we she went to the hospital... she thought they were coming out of her toes and was making her toes bleed picking at them... now she thinks she has jock itch on her face and is putting the cream on her face. I don't know what to do... It is so upsetting seeing my mom like this and she wont seek help. I don't think they have diagnosed her properly and I think she has more than one illness.. I just don't know what to do.
Hi. I need help! I really think my mother has severe BDD and I don't know what to do. She has been so lifeless and unsociable to the extreme since I have existed for 20 years. She hasnt dated in 10 years and hasnt had a friend since I've be born which was 20 years ago. She was diagnosed with severe depression and threatened suicide about 5 times cops had to come and take her to the hospital. She had gotten some kind of illness on her face that went away. But now even though its gone she keeps saying she has something new wrong with her face every week. She puts weird creams on it and picks at it 24 hours a day. She hasnt gone in public for months except once or twice.. shes worn sunglasses in buildings when it is night outside and sits in front of a mirror digging at her face for hours till its nasty looking. She has said worms were coming out of her face and we she went to the hospital... she thought they were coming out of her toes and was making her toes bleed picking at them... now she thinks she has jock itch on her face and is putting the cream on her face. I don't know what to do... It is so upsetting seeing my mom like this and she wont seek help. I don't think they have diagnosed her properly and I think she has more than one illness.. I just don't know what to do.
Hi. I need help! I really think my mother has severe BDD and I don't know what to do. She has been so lifeless and unsociable to the extreme since I have existed for 20 years. She hasnt dated in 10 years and hasnt had a friend since I've be born which was 20 years ago. She was diagnosed with severe depression and threatened suicide about 5 times cops had to come and take her to the hospital. She had gotten some kind of illness on her face that went away. But now even though its gone she keeps saying she has something new wrong with her face every week. She puts weird creams on it and picks at it 24 hours a day. She hasnt gone in public for months except once or twice.. shes worn sunglasses in buildings when it is night outside and sits in front of a mirror digging at her face for hours till its nasty looking. She has said worms were coming out of her face and we she went to the hospital... she thought they were coming out of her toes and was making her toes bleed picking at them... now she thinks she has jock itch on her face and is putting the cream on her face. I don't know what to do... It is so upsetting seeing my mom like this and she wont seek help. I don't think they have diagnosed her properly and I think she has more than one illness.. I just don't know what to do.
I fit in with your conclusions and will eagerly look forward to your upcoming updates. Just saying thanks will not just be adequate, for the phenomenal clarity in your writing. I will directly grab your rss feed to stay privy of any updates.
The Body Dysmorphic Disorder Blog
is part of the
Health Diaries network. Health Diaries publishes blogs, articles, and news on health and fitness topics.
About
Advertise
Contact
Contribute
Sitemap
Animal Health
Bone Health
Brain Health
Celebrity Health
Child and Teen Health
Diabetes Blog
Exercise and Fitness
Health Product Reviews
Healthy Eating
Health News
Heart Health
Lung Health
Prescription Drug News
Weird Health
A Journey Through Life
AnaRunner
Becoming My Passion
Butterflyteam
Eat Smart, Stay Fit
Is it Hot in Here?
It's Your Parents' Fault!
Life After MS
Living with Lung Cancer
Life with Trich
Llama Farming with Colon Cancer
Maddy's PCOS Diary
On the Weight Watchers Circle
Pilgrim's Journey
Tell someone you're thinking of them with one of our free get well cards. We also have sympathy cards and blank cards if you want to send thanks or just a hello.
hey,I have a really long story but I don't have time to type the whole story today..
Basically,B.D.D causes me not to function properly and I hate it...they say if u have bdd u think abt it for more than an hour,well,I think abt it the whole day every day...can someone please give me some advice how to block these thoughts?coz I cnt even have a decent relationship with a girl..!does the stress of bdd make u ugly?plz say no..I feel like im a crazy person and no1 understands,coz obviously they think im out of my mind!sorry if spelling's bad...oh and p.s..ppl with BDD and Emo's are not the same...our feelings and pain are real...plz help coz my life is going by